it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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