I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
My liver just had a heart attack.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
