The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
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