Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Four minutes until I can fart!
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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