yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
