Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize