hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
