At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize