giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
