If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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