Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
She's the barista slut.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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