She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
