I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
