you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
