Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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