I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
