i think my mom watched the whole time
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
