Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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