we have officially lost it.
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
