How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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