I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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