just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
