It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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