3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
