i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
