i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Randomize
