You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
