i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Houston, we have a blender
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
