We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
