remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
i've created a new STD.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
