she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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