Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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