A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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