i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
We have so much sex to catch up on
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
