singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
