I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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