Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
