Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
