No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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