her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
