i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
