you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
