just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Randomize
