I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
