i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
