i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Acid is not a monday night drug
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
