Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
