Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
