I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
