This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
