I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Randomize
