So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
