i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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