Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
