I like to think it a success when the cops are called
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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