I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
NoShamevember. You game?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize