Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
