it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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