I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
