I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
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