hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
