you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
