we have pet lesbian snakes
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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